In the World, but not of the World

While attending a big youth conference last year, something became apparent to me about the Christian faith. It seems to me that somewhere along the way we have become confused. From what I understand from Scripture and Jesus' life, we're supposed to live in 'the world', but not like 'the world'. But it seems we have done the opposite. We live like 'the world', but not in 'the world'.

Here we were, all listening to a rock concert and calling it worship. Now, I don't mean to cheapen it and say God wasn't there, but it's weird to experience the same emotional response at a 'secular' concert and a 'Christian' concert, yet call one worship and say the other is not. The other thing that bothered me was the band was signing autographs and selling cds after "worship". It just seemed like they were mimicking 'the world', but in a seperate sub-culture.

Christians now have a sub-culture that we can easily hide ourselves in and never be exposed to the 'ugliness' of 'the world'... we have Christian music, Christian clothes, Christian schools, Christian dating services, Christian coffee shops, Christian t.v., ...and the list goes on and on. What ever happened to living in 'the world' as Jesus did? He didn't deny the so-called 'ugliness', he embraced it. In a world where everyone despised prostitutes and tax collectors, he loved them.

One of the causes of this Christian sub-culture is we want to keep Christianity cool, so kids will stay and carry on the tradition. Another reason is that it's way easier to be a Christian if it's marketable (no need for relationship). Another reason is that we don't want 'good' Christians to become tainted by 'the world' (This is the one that bothers me the most).

The problem with using this sub-culture of Christianity to 'protect' us is that we are ignoring the problem instead of fixing it. If we would be confident in our faith and learn to defend the faith, we wouldn't have to turtle everytime we're faced with opposition. Somehow we have come to believe that the Truth won't stand up to scrutiny, so we've created this protective sub-culture.

Well, my challenge to you (and myself) is to be like Jesus and live in 'the world'. Learn what it is you believe and why you belive it and don't be afraid of people who challenge your belief. We're called to be 'light' and 'salt' to 'the world'... you don't dump all the salt you'll ever need onto one piece of meat, nor do you put all your lights in one room... so why have we created this sub-culture? One day, I hope we'll learn to be 'Human-beings' inspired by God, rather than 'Christians' inspired by 'the world'.

Chasing Love

I've always said that no matter how much I read or study, there are two things I will never understand: God and Women. This blog is in regards to the latter, women. It has been a while since I've dated a gal or even had any prospects, and my friends don't seem to understand why. Well, the truth is that I don't know why either. All I know is that trying to find that special 'someone' is somewhat analogous to sinking in quicksand. The more you 'struggle' to find love, the faster you sink. You basically need to wait for love to come find you. I'm not saying that a woman will sweep me off my feet (I hope I do the 'sweeping'), what I'm saying is that love isn't pursued, but just happens naturally.

This is a very hard thing to accept in a world where emphasis is placed on being in control (or at least having the illusion of control). We're taught that if we put our minds to 'it', we can do anything. This seems to be true when talking about acquiring things... money, power, knowledge, happiness, etc... If you try hard enough you can acquire these things; however, this is not true of love. The harder you try to find love or force it to 'happen', the harder it is to find.

Now, lately I find myself desiring love and companionship, but find its not something that can be 'caught' easily. I find that it's a lot like trying to fall asleep on a sleepless night... the more I think about trying to sleep, the harder it becomes to fall asleep. But, as soon as I quit worrying about sleeping, I will most likely fall asleep.

My friends don't seem to understand why I'm having a hard time finding companionship. To them it seems that I get along with women quite easily and I have female friends, so what's the problem? They also confuse my desire for companionship with 'desperation'. Desperation being defined as the point at which you're willing to compromise on the qualities of the person desired. This is the point where you give up on finding a 'soulmate' and settle with whoever you happen to be standing beside.

Well, I'm not desperate and I don't want to 'settle'. I may feel a sort of desperation to meet the woman who will 'complete' me; but this is not the same as being desperate to find companionship (regardless of who it's with). Nor is it the case that I'll be incomplete if I don't find this woman. I feel I would be more alone if I settled for a woman that was not my, so called, soulmate (with this said, I don't believe that there exists only one woman for me that I have to, somehow, find).

The last comment I'd like to make on this topic is in regards to 'looks' (the physical aspect). I find it bizarre that it's 'shallow' to be attracted to a person based on physical appearance, when it's not 'shallow' to be attracted to a person based on intellect or personality. We've exploited women's physical beauty (ie. advertising) for so long, that it's become taboo to comment on a woman's physical beauty. It's socially awkward to comment on a women's physical features at first meeting, even if that's the first thing you notice (not saying whether it's right or wrong, just an observation). On the other hand, it isn't socially awkward to comment on athletic ability or intellectual aptitude.

When my friends hear me say that I'm picky, they sometimes assume that I'm talking about 'the physical' (which I am, partly), but I'm looking for more than just 'good looks'. It's the combination of depth of character and physical beauty that I want to find (a beauty that radiates from the inside). I desire physical beauty, but I equally desire emotional, mental, and spiritual compatibility.

I leave you with Shakespeare's Sonnet 116...

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.